Dax Diary 8

June 28, 2004

Monday

6:50 pm

hello. I don't know what I'm supposed to be writing about. I don't know what I'm feeling or what I'm going to do about it. I sort of feel like crying, but not going to. I want to start over. I want a different life. I want all these things, but I don't know what I need. I need to be happy. I need to know what I'm saying and who's listening. I want to be happy and content with everything. I think I know how to be, but it just doesn't seem good enough. These markings mean nothing to me. They've got to be worth something. All I can do is stare. There's got to be more out there. I want to love someone. I want to find someone who needs to be found. I want someone to find me. I feel lost in unfamiliar territory. 

I'm so confused.

I feel like losing weight could drastically change me into what I'm searching for. I want to be confident, have style, the whole package. Guys like confident girls. Just keep looking ahead, I guess. 

"I'm falling out of grace with the world / they say I've lost my midas touch what turned to gold now turns to rust..."

'falling out'

-Relient K