Hokay, so..

here's dee Earth...

But for real. I need to turn over a new leaf. I need to be much more positive. I've been letting things get to me on too deep of a level. I make the smallest things into huge emotional failures. I can't focus on what I think is wrong with my life anymore... I need to focus on the goooooood stuff. So that's what I'm going to try and do.

The past few days I've shut myself up in my room for most of the day, which is what I would do last year. Because I just entered into the habit and couldn't get myself out of the cycle. So I'm going to stop doing that. It's mostly my anxiety... for some reason I've developed social anxiety? I mean, I've always been shy, but ever since I came to college it's just gotten out of hand.

I decided to stay in tonight, as opposed to going out (homecoming weekend) because I felt too tired (which I did). But now I'm feeling a little better and I'm going to take advantage of this time to get all my work done so I'm able to go out tomorrow (ha) and not worry about being too.... under the weather.... to do it Sunday night. That's the plan, anyway. We'll see if I can pull it off. I really hope I do.

Also: I take things too personally. I can't do that to myself anymore.

I need to get my own life, ha. Stop depending on other people.

Do my own thang, yo.

I've just been super super frustrated lately. About everything. I need to unwind and chill the heck out. Take deep breaths and just relax. Go with the flow. Make some moves. This game is on pause. Stagnant.

I have enough good things going for me and plenty of people who love me, so what am I waiting for? What am I so sad about? Sure, there are aspects of my life I wish were better, but in terms of those parts there's nothing I can do. It involves the other person's own decisions... I can't change anybody. Except myself. So that's what I'll do!

huzzah!